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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

Never mind. The piano player can do it with his left hand.

(submitted by C. Gallivan)

How many viola players does it take to change a light bulb?

50 - 1 to hold it still while the other 49 turn the building round

(submitted by A.Mower)

How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

(submitted by Jessica Clough)

How many tenor horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?

5 - 1 to change it and 4 to moan about how they didn't get to...

(submitted by Alice O'Regan)

How many double bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the piano player can do that with his left hand.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the guitarist has to show him how first.

How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they will go through a whole box of bulbs before the right one is found

How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Two. One to change it and the other to eat the old one

2) Two. One to change it and the other to smash the old one on his forehead

How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty, one to do it and forty-nine to say "I could do that better"

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?

1) One, but they will break ten bulbs before she realises that they can't be pushed in

2) One, but they will spend 3,500 on a sterling silver bulb

How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

1) One... two... testing... one... two... three...

2) None, sound engineers don't do lights

3) "Hey, I just do sound"

How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but then again, who's really watching?

How many Country & Western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, one to change the bulb and two to sing about the old one

How many jazz musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Jazz musicians can't afford lightbulbs. "Don't worry about the changes. We'll fake it!"

How many music critics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Music critics don't know how, but rest assured they'll find something wrong with the way you do it

How many oboists does it take it to change a lightbulb?

1) One, but by the time he gets done shaving the tip, you won't need it.

2) One, but he'll have to make the lightbulb himself.

How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?

1) Only one, but he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him

2) Only one, but he'll spend half an hour to figure out what position he needs to be in.

How many bass trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but they will do it too loudly

How many organists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, one to change the bulb, and one to complain that the switch doesn't have any combination pistons.

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two ~ one to do it and one to kick the ladder out from under her.

How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, because they can't reach it.

How many tenors does it take to change a lightbulb?

100. One to screw the lightbulb in and 99 to whine "It's too high"

How many brass players does it take to change a lightbulb?

3. One to hold it in place and two to drink until the room spins.

How many basses from Second Orchestra does it take to change a light bulb?

Five out of six, because the sixth one is Jess and she can't reach the light bulb!

(submitted by Jessica Williams)

How many light bulb joke tellers does it take to change a lightbulb?

100. One to change it and 99 to make stupid jokes about it...

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb??

(Submitted by Hannah Nack)


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