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JokesHow To Tell If You've Been In The Group Too Long

You know you’ve been in the band/orchestra too long when...

(Submitted by Tom Chapman)

  • When you hear music and start marking time.
  • When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
  • When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
  • When all your friends are in band.
  • When you don't mind changing on the bus.
  • When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
  • When every guy/girl you're interested in is in band/orchestra.
  • When you like wearing your concert dress.
  • When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my horn?"
  • When you've had a "Trombone-ectomy".
  • When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
  • When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
  • When people worry when they see you without your instrument.
  • When "armed guard" means girl with pole instead of guy with gun.
  • When the band/orchestra course is FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • When you remember the order of flats and sharps more easily than your name.
  • When you dress the lunch line, and encourage others to do the same.
  • When you are alone, you suffocate cause there's no one telling you when to breathe.
  • When slides feel normal.
  • When your instrument has a name.
  • When you remember your instrument's birthday, and forget your mum's.
  • When making a diagonal is your biggest accomplishment of the day.
  • When backwards marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
  • When you give your instrument a birthday party.
  • When your concert dress fits.
  • When you see your section more than you see your family.
  • When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band/orchestra.
  • When you walk you automatically start with your left foot.
  • When you think evening practices should last a half an hour longer.
  • When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
  • When you CAN sight-read.
  • When you can put on your concert dress in less than two minutes.
  • When reeds taste good.
  • When you actually understand your band director.
  • When you think your bow-tie is alive.
  • When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
  • When you have a neck strap tan line.
  • When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
  • When numbers past 8 aren't important.
  • When you still have concert music from 3 years ago memorized.
  • When you roll-step through the cafeteria to avoid spilling your lunch.
  • When you'd rather practice than read this list.
  • When letters past G aren't important.
  • When you're sitting alone in a room and you find yourself humming music from four years ago.
  • When you get the jokes on this list.

You know you've been in the Concert Band too long if...

(Submitted by Concert Band percussionist Gareth Lloyd)

  • You actually start to enjoy marching band music and would kill to do it all year long
  • The drummers start making sense to you
  • You have to stay in step with people around you while walking
  • You wonder what life would be like if you weren't in the band
  • You practice your marching band music on a daily basis
  • The lead clarinet player is a role model to you
  • Those stupid 'band humour' jokes are the funniest things you've ever heard
  • You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons
  • You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to people that walk in front of you on the way to sectionals
  • Drummers start making lots of sense to you
  • You've dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you are ever going to have another date
  • You think that trumpeters have a right to be egotistical
  • You don't think flautists have a slight attitude problem
  • You change from your instrument to the tuba
  • You have perfect pitch
  • The conductor is always right
  • You marry that special someone in your section
  • You have kids and force them to be in music
  • Drummers make perfect sense to you
  • You can relate to more than four of the above

You know you've been in marching band to long...

  • when your brand new shoes have holes in the toes after two weeks in band camp doing constant back march drills

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